ADVICE TO MY 20-YEAR-OLD SELF

I attended a business awards event a few years back. The question asked of all the nominees on stage was:
What advice would you give your younger self?

There were some funny responses (“Dump that guy!”), and some serious responses (“Study harder. It makes a difference.”). All of the answers were interesting and sparked good discussion at our table

That got me thinking. What advice would I give my 20-year-old self?

Today, as I look back at the young girl I was, I hold her gently and kiss her cheek, and say, “We have to dare to be ourselves, no matter how frightening or deep it may be. You’re standing at the cusp of adulthood, brimming with dreams and ambitions. The path ahead will be challenging and rewarding in ways you can’t yet imagine. Here are a few pieces of advice that I hope will guide you through the twists and turns of life:

1. Embrace Uncertainty: It’s okay not to have everything figured out. Life is unpredictable, and that’s part of its beauty. Embrace the uncertainty and allow yourself the freedom to explore different paths. Trust that each step, even the ones that seem like detours, is leading you to where you’re meant to be.

2. Follow Your Passion: Your heart knows what it wants, even if your mind is filled with doubts. Pursue what sets your soul on fire, whether it’s writing, law, or something else entirely. Passion will sustain you through the toughest times and make your achievements all the more fulfilling.

3. Learn to Say No: It’s easy to get caught up in trying to please everyone, but remember that your time and energy are valuable. Saying no is not a sign of weakness; it’s an affirmation of your priorities. Focus on what truly matters to you.

4. Take Care of Yourself: Burnout is real, and it can creep up on you when you least expect it. Prioritize self-care, whether that means taking breaks, setting boundaries, or seeking help when you need it. Your well-being is crucial for your long-term success and happiness.

5. Cherish Relationships: The people in your life are your greatest assets. Nurture your relationships with family, friends, and mentors. They will provide support, guidance, and love through every high and low.

6. Be Kind to Yourself: You are your harshest critic. Learn to treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you offer others. Celebrate your achievements, forgive your mistakes, and recognize your worth.

7. Stay Curious: Never stop learning. Whether through formal education, reading, or new experiences, keep your mind open and eager. Curiosity will keep you young at heart and continuously evolving.

8. Trust the Journey: There will be moments of doubt, setbacks, and heartache, but trust that everything happens for a reason. Each experience, whether good or bad, is a lesson that shapes who you are. Trust the journey and have faith in yourself.

Remember, 20-year-old me, you are stronger and more capable than you realize. The future is bright, and I can’t wait for you to see all the wonderful things that await you.”

More About the Book

Lena Sharma is a successful San Francisco restaurateur. An immigrant, she’s cultivated an image of conservatism and tradition in her close-knit Indian community. But when Lena’s carefully constructed world begins to crumble, her ties to her daughter, Maya, and son, Sameer—raised in thoroughly modern California—slip further away.

Maya, divorced once, becomes engaged to a man twelve years her junior: Veer Kapoor, the son of Lena’s longtime friend. Immediately, Maya feels her mother’s disgrace and the judgment of an insular society she was born into but never chose, while Lena’s cherished friendship frays. Meanwhile, Maya’s younger brother, Sameer, struggles with an addiction that reaches a devastating and very public turning point, upending his already tenuous future.

As the mother, daughter, and son are compromised by tragedy, secrets, and misconceptions, they each must determine what it will take to rebuild their bonds and salvage what’s left of their family.

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